After Prostate Cancer Diagnosis - Where to Begin

Once you learn that you or your loved one has prostate cancer, there is a lot to think about. Putting an action plan together is important, but it may be hard to focus or think clearly. Here are some ways to help you get started:

Take a few days to regroup. The initial diagnosis is a big shock, and it's important to process what you're feeling. Coping with prostate cancer is a day-by-day experience. Your feelings may change from minute to minute. Be gentle with yourself. There is no right way to deal with prostate cancer. Some days it's just about putting one foot in front of the other and muddling through. That's okay.

Buy a notebook. Write everything down, including important dates, test results, and information from consultations with doctors. You will always have these notes to refer back to and you probably will. Also get an expanding file or legal sized folder you can carry with you. Use it to hold all of your medical records, prescriptions, bills, insurance papers, business cards, important articles, educational materials, and your notebook.

Ask for copies of every test result and keep them in your folder. You will be surprised by how many times one doctor will forget to fax test results to another doctor. Doing this will save you precious time, and each doctor can address important issues at every visit because they will have the information they need.

Keep track of every conversation you have with your health insurance company in your notebook. Remember to date the conversation and ask for the name of the person you speak with. By doing this, you will be able to document your conversation, and what was discussed, should a problem arise.

Begin searching for information from credible sources. When searching the Internet, you will find many websites that provide excellent, unbiased information about prostate cancer. Unfortunately, there are just as many websites that do not. Ask yourself if the information being presented is unbiased, or is the website trying to influence you to choose a particular treatment?

Read everything you can. The more you learn about prostate cancer, the more you can make informed decisions about the many treatment options that are available. Try to read about these different options before you consult with doctors. Having a basic understanding may help you have a more meaningful discussion with the doctor.

Clinical trials offer a wealth of information. A good place to search for them is Pub Med Type in prostate cancer + treatment options or prostate cancer + survival and numerous articles will come up. You can usually get all the information you need from the abstract (summary). A medical dictionary can be helpful for medical terms you do not understand.

Think about joining a support group. No one understands what you are going through like someone who has had experience with prostate cancer. You can call US TOO at 800-808-7866 or the American Cancer Society at 800-ACS-2345 to see if they have support group meetings in your area.

Consider how much you want to tell others. There is nothing wrong with telling everyone you know about you or your loved one's prostate cancer diagnosis, but realize that they may not know how to react. People generally mean well, but they sometimes say things out of nervousness that may feel inappropriate to you. They may also ask you questions that you are not prepared to answer, or don't want to talk about. Understand that people may also offer their opinions on what they think you should or should not do. Or they may say nothing at all.

Decide what you want to tell children or grandchildren. This is a personal decision. If you do decide to tell younger children, it may be enough just to say that Daddy or Grandpa is sick and the doctor is going to help him.

Include your name on your church or synagogue prayer list. You may also want to seek counsel from a religious leader. They can offer you spiritual guidance and may be a great source of comfort. A diagnosis of cancer can feel like a test of faith. The truth is that you really never know how you're going to react until it happens to you.

Dana Kababik is the editor of hisprostatecancer.com an information and support website specifically for wives and partners of men with prostate cancer.